What a week! About 3 hours and 26 minutes ago, I awakened on my front porch, stuffed in a black trash bag; with only my head exposed and duct tape placed over my mouth. The last thing I remember is standing on the House floor, dressed from head to toe in dollar bills. According to an article in the Huffington Post, I apparently pointed a squirt gun at Boner’s head and saturated him with buffalo semen. (I can only guess where I acquired buffalo semen.) I have a vague recollection of signing up for a bus trip to Washington at a recent L.L.L.L. meeting – Lifelong Luscious Lady Liberals. The Big Irishman dropped me off at the bus station and the rest they say is mystery. Or is it, “The rest they say is history?” Doesn’t really matter. The fact of the matter is that as a result of my horrid transgressions, I was forced to serve 2 weeks as an aide to John McCain. Alcatraz would have been less heinous. I also suspect that I was given mind-altering drugs like Forgetfulness Juice. This is the thanks I get for doing my part to move the debt ceiling crisis toward a reasonable resolution. Boner, next time I’ll fill my weapon with donkey piss. Oh yes, never fear, the Amazing Zippered Woman will yet again walk the halls of Congress. I WILL NOT BE SILENCED !!!
Did I mention that before my sojourn in Washington, Tom and I spent an amazing week at the beach with all our kids and grandkids. We are even more convinced that our three kids and their amazing spousi (plural of spouse) are among the most wonderful, amazing human beings to have ever walked the earth ….. and they make adorable, brilliant babies.
Yoga on the beach. Or was it cocktails on the beach? Who’s the old broad with the great legs?
Wow, am I a lucky woman? He named his wetsuit SPANX.
