MOTS

Johnny-Boy McCain certainly enjoys his “maverick” label, but it is my opinion that he is simply a ”MOTS” candidate. If we look closely at his story, we begin to realize that much of it is a myth. He has been exalted in great part because of his own self-aggrandizement. His “poor prisoner” personna has garnered huge amounts of sympathy and exaltation. But seriously, what kind of guy continually references his own valor for political gain?

His insincere self -promotion makes me nausous. There are thousands upon thousands of war heros and former prisoners of war around the world who never talk about their nightmarish experiences. They remain proud of their service and their sacrifice, but don’t shout about it from any available rooftop.

McPain’s military service may have been commendable, but let’s take a moment to examine his congressional performance. I think we should change his name to “little George.” McCain and Bush both try to present themselves as “down-home” and they both have difficulty stringing together two literate sentences. They are both masterful fearmongers and employ scare tactics to manipulate the American public. They both grossly exaggerate their supposed accomplishments. It’s hard to decide which man is the most dishonest when it comes to political campaigning. And of course, they both LOVE a good war. George plays war games from the safety of the White House while John relives his military career through the sacrifice of our young men and women who have been sent to die in an immoral oil war.

If we look closely, McCain just isn’t that much different than George. He’s just another politician – not by any means special. His constant pandering to The Bush abministration, should be a red flag. He lacks wisdom and integrity – AND HE LOVES WAR. John McCain is not a “maverick.” He’s a “MOTS” … just MORE OF THE SAME.

And Now – Tonight’s Special Guest

Good evening. This is Goat Glitzer in the CNN newsroom. I have the AZW on the line speaking to us from Scumbucket, Arizona – near the home of John McPain, the Republican Party’s Airbag Apparent.

GG: Hello…Hello… AZW, can you hear me?

AZW: Go ahead, Goat. You’re coming in loud and clear.

GG: Long time no BLOG, AZW.

AZW: I know. I know. My apologies to those readers who hang on my every word, but I’ve been on the road for months.

GG: Can you be a little bit more specific?

AZW: I don’t want to say too much, but I guess I can give you a tiny hint. I was hired by the Clinton campaign to dig up dirt on John McPain. Apparently, Hillary is THAT sure she will be the Democratic nominee. During my travels I’ve discovered some very very interesting tidbits.

GG: Oh, Wow! Can you give us some examples? Remember America – you heard it here first.

AZW: Okay, calm down, Goat. I’ll share a snippet or two. The American public needs to know that this guy who claims to be a squeaky clean war hero actually served time in the slammer. I’ll bet nobody knows about the three months McPain spent in detention in the third grade. I hear he was caught stealing Hostess Cupcakes from other kids’ lunch pails while - they were stored in the cloak room. A guy who would still cupcakes is surely a guy who will sell state secrets to the Russians. I was appalled.

GG: Oh, come on AZW. Tell us more.

AZW: McPain also was notorious for using real guns with real bullets when he played cowboys and Indians in the Old Hood. And he also will wear only Velcro tennis shoes, because he never learned to tie. Along the same lines. He will only wear digital watches. You can guess why. Is this the guy you want answering the red phone in the middle of the night? He doesn’t even know how to text or check messages on his cell phone. 

GG: Can’t you give us something bigger. 

AZW: Just one more little tidbit. I found McPain’s original birth certificate – DATED 1920. He’s one old geezer! And that wife of his. Oy! Her My Space screen name is “Ditzy Barbie.”
When these revelations hit the air waves, it could change the whole election process. 

GG: We have to break for a commercial. AZW, can you join us again after break?

AZW: Sorry Goat. I got a plane to catch. I’m meeting McPain’s date for the senior prom for an in depth interview. It might interest you to know that his prom date did not walk upright. I’ll say NO MORE….   

I’ve Been Meaning To Tell You …

Did anyone out there in T.V. land notice the smirk on Bushie’s face when he gave his State of the Union speech. I have finally, after much careful thought, figured out why he was smirking. He just can’t keep a straight face anymore when he lies to the American people. In his last S.O.T.U. we heard all his standard bull – He’s made our country bigger, safer, stronger – just better all around. After years of his failed policies, we all know that his egotistical claims couldn’t be further from the truth.

Thanks to butt-head Bush’s cowboy diplomacy, our international standing is at an all-time low. His economic policies have catapulted us into a recession. He continues to ignore huge problems like global warming and out-of-control health care costs. It would seem that the state of our union is a whole lot worse than when Dumbya took office. (No, Dumbya isn’t a misspelling.) However, I have to give him credit. He has presided over the strengthening of a few other unions. For example, the union between Cheney and Halliburton is thriving, as is the union between the oil companies and their Republican flunkies in Congress. But if you’re living without health insurance, facing foreclosure, on the verge of losing your job, or have a loved one with a target on his/her chest in Iraq, the strength of these unions only serve to convince you that your government has abandoned you.

Remember:  The worst job in the circus is cleaning up after the elephants.

Laughs

A man wearing a stovepipe hat and a fake beard orders a beer. “Going to a party?” the bartender asks.
“Yeah,” the man says. “I’m supposed to go dressed as my love life.”
“But you look like Abe Lincoln,” states the bartender.
“That’s right. My last four scores were seven years ago,” says Abe sadly.

Lessons 

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. In the rules it was stipulated, “Gentlemen Only – Ladies Forbidden.” And so the word “GOLF” became part of the English language.

Language

arrogate – verb – to claim or seize without justification  “Gorgeous George made a horse’s ass of himself when he had the nerve to arrogate “Victory” in the Iraq War.

Little Dude

Roscoe and his sister.

Sleepy boys.

Me and my best friend Grayson.

Thumb practice.  Notice the blanket marks.

It is NOT time for my nap.

Beautiful Mama – Handsome baby.

The AZW Has Spoken

First things first – Tom and I want to wish everyone a very Healthy and Happy New Year. The last year has been a wonderful year for our family and we look forward to an even better 2008. Our hearts are full of love and gratitude for all those who enrich our lives everyday in so many ways.

Now … I realize the world is waiting for the AZW’s read on the political conundrum that has overtaken our country. As we anxiously wait for the results of the Iowa caucuses, I have a few insights I would like to share with my Dear Readers. (Please notice that I didn’t say “valuable” insights. One of my New Year’s Resolutions is to remain ever-humble.)

1.  I think Hillary is old news. It seems to me that her handlers have made her a set of 20 note-cards containing verbose, pat answers to what they hope will be the only questions fired in her direction. Unfortunately, she uses the same answers for ALL questions, regardless of the content of said questions. Because of her inability to “shoot from the hip” she comes across as trite and even stupid. I liked her much better before she became a candidate. Shame on Bill for letting the situation get so out of control. The AZW’s advice to Hillary: use YOUR words and for God’s sake dump the monotone.

2.  I think Obama is the MAN. He gives clear, concise answers that make sense. I worry that he might be too inexperienced, but that might be a good thing.

3.  As for the Republicans (please notice that I assigned a capital letter to the R word – at great personal sacrifice) the field is pathetic. Who will take home the prize? Will it be the great warrior, John McCain or will Huckabee Bible thump his way to a quick victory? Giggles Giuliani is a complete joke. I’m putting my money on Romney. He appears to be the only Republican with a modicum of honesty and integrity.

There you have it.
Right or wrong – the AZW HAS SPOKEN.

   

Please Allow Me To Share

It’s not often that I read an opinion piece that totally makes sense. This finally explains in a logical way why the Republicans have made illegal immigration such a big deal. This was written by Robert Kistner and was published in the Mesa Tribune on Wednesday, December 26th, 2007. Mr. Kistner states that he “is involved in education and business.”

GOP needs villain, found one in “illegals’
Creating monsters comes easier than solutions.

Son, here’s tonight’s Republican bedtime story.
Once upon a time, there was a national political party that had been in power for 14 years, but was in a panic because its policies had failed. There was a trillion dollar deficit, a health care crisis, the country’s infrastructure was decaying, the war was a disaster, and the party’s leader, the president, was widely disliked.

So one day the leaders of this party called in people who worked for them in their think tanks and said, “Well, what the heck do we do now? It seems like we’re cooked.”

“Oh no, no, no, no!” responded the men in the black-and-tweed suits, whose eyes seemed to roll around in their sockets, as if they had been doing a lot of thinking. “We have another plan, you know, another Strategic Initiative that will distract the people from those other unfortunate issues. This may be the best red herring we’ve come up with yet. We’re going to call it the ‘Immigrant as Monsters’ Strategic Initiative. Remember, it’s all about framing, framing, framing the debate.

“But” responded one of the younger, more inexperienced members of the party, “that won’t work, because most of the immigrants aren’t monsters. They’re mostly just hard-working people who work hard to support their families. And most people know that.”

There was a silence in the room, then thunderous laughter. “He’s new,” one of the senior senators responded. “Son, reality doesn’t have all that much to do with it. We’ve got to motivate our base, and the best way to do it is to create a monster to destroy. There’s got to be fear, so we can protect the people from danger.”

“Heck, the monster can be a person like Saddam Hussein or an idea like unfair taxes. This time it’ll be immigrants. It’s beautiful. Some of the immigrants are illegally here and therefore they are criminals, monsters. Our party will be the hero that rides in to save America from the beasts. This stuff works every time.”

The Think Tankers looked pleased. “We have already planned out some of the details of the Initiative. We’ve got the position papers, the press releases, the preliminary TV ads and the talking points ready, and we have  gotten buy-in from the Noise Machine. Corporate media has totally bought in. Rush and Sean are salivating with expectation. Ailes with FOX is apoplectic with joy. Dobbs is set to demagogue this issue from every imaginable angle. And to think everyone thought we were cooked this year on the issues.”

“It seems wrong to me.” The freshman senator had spoken again. “It seems unethical to just go on a blanket campaign to demonize all those workers. Hey, two of them work for me, landscaping. They’re the hardest workers you can imagine, and polite, and good Catholics. Besides, there are 12 million already in the U.S. You mean we’re going to deport them all or put them in jail? That’s crazy.”

“Besides,” he went on, “it’s not American. It’s not principled. And at least the local media are too smart to buy into this.” 

“What are you talking about? Hey, there’s a columnist in Phoenix who is ready with a column called: ‘If Arizona is lagging, immigration is the reason.’ He actually blames all Arizona’s social problems on the immigrants.”

One of the senior senators grabbed the freshman around the shoulders and said, “Come with me son, I’ll explain to you how this all works.” “Winning politics is based on fear, not fairness or human dignity or rights or all that liberal nonsense. It’s about motivating your base. I’ll buy you some lunch and fill you in on how this all really works. I’ll start by explaining the idea of a Strategic Initiative.”

Well, that’s tonight’s Republican bedtime story, son. And sleep well. Remember, monsters don’t exist unless you think they do.”

An AZW Spout

The holiday season is a time when most people, in what I think is an attempt to downplay the commercialism of the yuletide, walk around spouting altruistic goals for all of mankind and the world in general. What follows is my “spout.”

The United States of America has long been a beacon of hope  for people across the earth. Unfortunately the light from this beacon has dimmed because of the policies of the current administration. (My Christmas gift to my conservative readers is to not mention names in this diatribe.) We MUST restore our tarnished reputation, rekindle our shattered  alliances, and generally restore the trust and respect that others have for us – on every continent. We have to work together to undo the disastrous decisions of the last seven years.

Our next president must be able to change the perceptions of the many people across the globe who don’t see this country the same way we do. We must all work hard to regain our credibility and once again earn the world’s trust. With better leadership we can fight effectively for international understanding and global peace. We can reduce our dependence on foreign oil, halt the spread of nuclear arms, slow down climate change, and attack ignorance, disease and poverty.

Our next president must pledge to restore an America of peace, liberty, justice and respect for human rights. Please think about these points over the next several months as you decide who will receive your precious vote.

Loquacious Laments About Our Loathsome Leader

SCHIP  is a vital program that provides immunizations and checkups for over 10 million children whose families cannot afford health insurance. Even with this necessary program in place, there are still many millions of children whose needs aren’t being met. How could any president veto a bill that would have expanded SCHIP, especially when said president is  spending billions fighting a war we can’t win. In recent weeks, children’s health care opponents, including Bushie, have used misleading information to scare others into falsely believing that advocates for children’s health care are working to shift upper middle-class children from private insurance to SCHIP. This is simply not true. This bad information is nothing but a phony argument that is being used as a scare tactic. I believe that our government, and especially our president, has an obligation to honestly inform. The use of inaccurate and misleading information does not contribute to an open and honest debate . Many SCHIP opponents continue to accept government-supported health care for themselves, have voted to give themselves pay raises, and even delivered billions and billions of dollars in corporate welfare to the Big Oil Industry – all at the same time they are actively working to deny health care to our nation’s poorest children.

It’s not surprising that republicans have such a sour-grapes attitude toward Gore’s Nobel Prize. The contrast between  Gore’s accomplishments and the dismal record of Georgie-Porgie, must be truly agonizing for them.

 Bushie has the idea that legislation he signed into law does not apply to him because of his status as “commander in chief.” He apparently feels that this status also allows him to overlook that part of his oath of office that states, “preserve, protect, and defend the constitution of the United States …” Why don’t we get rid of this egomaniac by starting the impeachment process?

Laughs, Lessons and Language

Here are some new words you can use to spice up your conversation.
susurrus:  a whispering or rustling sound.
tenebrous:  dark; gloomy.
Sentence:  One tenebrous Halloween night, the susurrus
made me so scared that I wet my pants.

                

Have you ever wondered …

… why is it necessary to nail down a coffin?
… why don’t we ever see the headline, Psychic Wins
    Lottery?
… why glue doesn’t stick to the inside of the jar?

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

Military big-shots got their little hands slapped on Capitol Hill last week. This scolding resulted from their dishonest attempts to spin horrible events in both Afghanistan and Iraq into heroic military happenings – all for the purpose of boosting public support for these immoral wars.

Congressional testimony from relatives of Cpl. Pat Tillman (ASU football star and Arizona Cardinals standout) was especially telling. Tillman was killed by friendly fire in Afghanistan in 2004. The U. S. military immediately reported to the public and Tillman’s family that he died a hero while facing enemy fire. To further perpetuate this hoax, they awarded him the Silver Star posthumously. This was not just a misunderstanding that occurred during the heat of battle. It was a deliberate lie fabricated by both soldiers and commanders in their sworn statements - almost immediately after the fratricide. The Pentagon’s inspector general even admitted that somehow the statements “got edited.” Kinda reminds me of how the lack of proof of WMDs in Iraq “got edited” into absolute proof.

Pfc. Jessica Lynch also testified. You remember – she was the beautiful young girl whose ordeal and dramatic rescue in Iraq became a movie. The government’s version of her story was transformed into an inspirational message designed to support Bushie’s foreign policy. Her testimony last week, totally negated the government’s version of what actually happened. I guess her story also “got edited.” She didn’t fight off any enemy soldiers. In fact, she never even fired her gun. This dramatic lie was generated to help the American people embrace Bushie’s war in Iraq. Just as Tillman’s death story was rewritten to divert attention from the Abu Ghraib scandal which was causing outrage around the world.

These are examples of the deep level of deception within the United States military. It’s also yet another reminder of this administration’s tendency to create whatever lies are necessary to protect itself. When the generals tell us that, “The surge is working,” -  will you believe them? 

Enough Already

I’m getting sick and tired of the hypocrisy of many republican politicians who are running for office – those who continually call on Hillary Clinton to apologize for and explain her vote on the resolution which authorized Bush’s initial assault on Iraq. I don’t know how many more times she must explain that her vote was based on the best information available at the time. She, along with almost everyone else in America, was totally duped by that fabricated information. She has nothing to apologize for. She, like the rest of us, never dreamed that the leader of the free world would lie.

She has stated over and over that if she knew in 2002, what she knows now, she would absolutely not have voted in support of this resolution. Let’s remember that in 2002, most Americans as well as many nations around the world, were convinced that Saddam Hussein possessed biological and chemical weapons and that he was well on the road to achieving nuclear capability. I think we all made decisions based on what we thought were the facts. As it turns out – we were all wrong. Should we all apologize for formulating opinions based on Bush’s well-orchestrated lies?

Suggestion:  The Republican Party should muzzle Ann Coulter. She is causing great harm to their party. What was she hoping to accomplish by calling John Edwards a “faggot?”

Cut and Run

My Republican friends keep falsely accusing the Democrats of having a “cut and run” mentality. In my humble opinion, Senate Republicans are truly guilty of this mindset – as evidenced by the variety of shameless dirty tricks they are pulling in the Senate to avoid a real debate on the Iraq War. This amounts to political cowardice. These elected officials are using procedural mumbo jumbo and stupid amendments to prevent an up or down vote. This vote is the only way Americans will know for sure where each Senator stands on Bushie’s plan to escalate the war.

Almost all Americans feel that intense debate is necessary to determine what direction this war will go. Republicans did us all a huge injustice to tie the hands of  Congress and block legitimate discussion. Senate Republicans are obstructing the change that America demanded in the last election. What are they afraid of? Will they go to whatever lengths necessary to protect our inept president? These Republican obstructers are putting party loyalty above national concerns.

These Republicans JUST DON’T GET IT. They HAVEN’T GOTTEN THE MESSAGE. Rest assured – the Democrats aren’t going to back down.