Ten Things That Have Happened Since My Last Post

1.  Roscoe began his Nascar career in Daytona. He drove a really souped-up dual cam furtwangler for the Movy team based out of Phoenix. He posted a decent time, but didn’t win. 

The Roscinator thanks his pit crew.

 2.  The Weez was asked to solo as the Purple Plum in Swan Lake at the esteemed Bolshoi Ballet. 

Eloise poses for the press at the Gala after Opening Night.

 3.  Roscoe appeared on Martha Stewart Live in early December. With just a little assistance from Martha, he prepared his famous Roscatoni ala Bah Bink. The audience was wowed. 

"Careful folks. Too much paprika can really knock you on your bum."

 4.  Eloise hired an agent and kicked off her television career. She has signed for a full-length feature film, but decided to supplement her income with a few commercials. After an extended bidding war, Pantene came out on top. 

Monster Moisture by Pantene gives even my eyelashes super volumn.

 5.  Since Roscoe is counting on an Ivy League education, he decided to start saving now. He feels very strongly that he needs to at least help with college expenses. (What a good boy.)  He put some feelers out, and in a matter of minutes GQ called and offered him a very lucrative contract. Here is a picture from his first layout. 

My Movy said I can't model underwear, but belts are okay.

6.  Ringmaster to crowd, ”And in the center ring we have our newest star attraction: The beautiful, the amazing, the spectacular rubber-faced child -  Miss Eloise. She comes to us directly from her castle in Romania.” 

Do you want to see me turn my eyelids inside out?

There are only a few babies in the world who can do this.

 7.  Roscoe recently auditioned for the off- Broadway production of  Hansel and Gretel.  Unfortunately he was slightly late for the audition and the part of Hansel had already been cast.  Just a small bump in the road for our man Roscoe.

"Come on Hansel. Can't you pick up those crumbs any faster?"

8.  Have you been reading about the daring rescue  of those trapped miners in West Virginia?  We are very fortunate to have been given access to this exclusive CNN photo of Eloise  Mc Neezy who was able to bring all the buried men to safety using just chewing gum, a pacifier and dental floss. We can actually see her making her last trip out of the tunnel. 

"Boy that last guy was a real pork chop. My back is killing me."

 9.  Roscoe has been very busy getting ready for his first show. It opens March 15th at the Movy Frig Gallery. The critics are all saying that he’s one of the best young impressionist in the World.  I must say, “His abstracts are breathtaking.” 

"I need to get this shadowing just right or my whole concept will be meaningless."

 10.  Keebler has its elves, McDonalds has got Ronald, and Taco Bell has that silly dog. Now Smucker’s Jelly has its Weezy. She has been hired to promote Smucker’s delectable fruit preserves. Advertising experts are predicting that she will be the new face of jam. Or should I say “jam face.” 

“I only eat the plumpest and juiciest berries”

I’m sure my readers will all agree that I should be commended for keeping up with such busy grandchildren.  

  

  

   

Movy and The Mall Rats

Several months ago Meghann asked me if I would have any interest in taking care of Roscoe for a few days in mid-September so that she could attend the wedding of one of her high school friends in Buffalo, New York. Of course I immediately agreed.  And the plan evolved from there. We decided that it would be fun if I could combine Roscoe watching with Weezy visiting. So I flew into San Francisco on Wednesday afternoon and Meghann and Roscoe joined the party late yesterday afternoon.  Meghann left for New York on the red-eye last night at 11:15. 

Our first night went very well.  My little pal awakened a few times in the night, but all it took to reassure him was a mini-back rub and a few whispered words, “Movy is right here watching over you.” After a huge breakfast and a few minutes of Sesame Street (and one very odoriferous diaper) we dressed and took off for the mall.  First stop – Barnes and Noble for some browsing and extended play at the train table.  Then on to the indoor playground.  Roscoe took off running the minute his shoes were off, and he didn’t stop running – or smiling – for almost an hour.  Weezy and Movy did some people watching and lots of drooling (Weezy, not me.)

Lunch time found us in the Food Court surrounded by every tempting taste treat imaginable.  The kid ate a slice of cheese pizza the size of Texas and licked his way through several frozen yogurt samples.  A grand time was had by all.  Too bad about his shirt.  It will never be quite the same.  I was astonished by  the number of people who stopped us to exclaim about how adorable my grandchildren are.  I must say I  did become slightly puffed with pride.

And now for some bath-time antics.

Salt and pepper.

Every family needs a unicorn.

Mall madness.

Movy, watch what I can do.

Go faster, please.

Munchin’ on some lunch.

Weezy will have her lunch later.

Pizza on Movy's lap. I'm so tired.

 The long walk back to the car.

I’m one pooped cowgirl.

On the agenda tomorrow:  1. An event in the morning – “Banjos and Ballads”

2.  A barbecue at 2:00  3.  Game night with Katie’s friends in the evening

LIFE IN THE FAST LANE. 

 

HAWLEY WOOD

Would you believe that it has taken me almost Two months to gather photos from every one involved in our Family Vacay. I’m still waiting on a few stragglers, but have decided to go ahead and post anyway.

In mid-July we rented a cabin in the White Mountains. Meghann, Roscoe, Katie, Henry and Weezy flew into Phoenix so we could all drive up together. (We were very sad that our Scotty couldn’t join us this year, but next year will be perfect with his addition.)  I had been involved in a massive packing extravaganza for over a week, so the kids walked into floor-to-ceiling piles. We had to transport everything necessary for a week in the woods. These cabins are on the Indian reservation and very rustic and minimally furnished. Dear readers, I’m sure that you are going to hear all about how old, silly Shanlee hauled nine rugs on vacation.  Well, believe it, and know that I’m proud of my rug fetish. I might add, none of my family had any problem putting their stinky little piggys on MY RUGS. Also know that anyone who continues to give me  shit grief about “the great rug transport” will be required to walk AROUND said rugs next year.

Patrick and Jessica joined us late Friday night and stayed for the whole weekend. Jessica got rave reviews from Meghann and Katie. Historically, Patrick’s sisters have found all of his other girlfriends to be “not worthy” of his affections. Not so with Jessica. In fact they posed this question several times over the course of the weekend, “What can she possibly see in him?”  Just one brief skirmish to report. Katie and Jessica got into a fist fight over the “last pancake.” It ended in a draw. Katie is strong, but Jessica is quick. Folks in all the cabins near ours started taking bets on the outcome of the chick fight. Tom acted as bookie and he made enough to pay the cabin’s rent for the entire week.

The last few sentences were pure unadulterated lies – a stupid attempt at humor. Without further frivolity, let me share some poignant photos from our family adventure.

Roscoe takes a break to smell the daisies.

What more could a woman want?

YOUNG LOVE. What DOES she see in him?

Thanks for the ride, Mom.

Sweet dreams Baby Boy.

Well, that’s it for today. I’ll share more pics tomorrow.

Guys and Dolls … I Mean Guy and Doll

I have a few more pictures from my trip to San Bruno that I want to share with my Dear Readers. These babies are growing up fast and I want to capture every moment. I really don’t think that 63,520 pictures for a four-day weekend is exorbanent. After all, taking pictures is harmless. I could have spent all my time drinking and scaring the neighbor children by chasing them with my teeth out.

 
Weezy is sitting in her BUMBO chair. It is designed to help
 children learn to sit up. Please notice the blue
dotted Swiss dress that she is wearing. Another vintage dress.
 We have pics of Katie wearing this at about the same age.

My guy and doll. That delightfully attractive women behind
the children is “yours truly.”

Eloise Grewe is smiling now. When Movy makes snorting pig noises,
she cracks up. Roscoe also loved snorting pig noises at this age.

Roscoe doesn’t miss a chance to hold his baby cousin.
In this picture, he is teaching her proper bink behavior.

 One of those magic moments that last in a memory forever.
Thank you Perpetua.

Very poignant. This makes me cry.

“Mom, take this stinkin’ bow. Chicks who roll with the Roscoenator
don’t wear no bows.”

Every mother’s dream. Enough said.

Party duds for our Perfect, Pretty Princess.

The shoes kill me.

I thank you again, Perpetua – with all our heart.

Pub Crawlin’ With Movy

On Monday I returned from five days in San Bruno. Meghann’s company scheduled some business meetings for her on Thursday and Friday mornings. We all decided that I should come too, and make it a girl’s weekend. Or I should say, a girl’s weekend with Henry and Roscoe as the male guests of honor. We spent our time together playing and playing and playing. I was able to rock both my babies to sleep. It just doesn’t get any better than rocking precious angels. Eloise has developed an adorable personality and Roscoe continues to delight all those around him.

One evening we went to Fiddler’s Green  for dinner. It’s an authentic Irish Pub, and it seemed as though we had been magically transported to downtown Dublin. I’m part Irish so that makes my grandchildren also part Irish. I take my responsibilities as an Irish grandmother very seriously. Our trip to the Irish Pub afforded Movy (the grandma name Meghann has selected for me) a wonderful opportunity to begin Irish lessons with the kids. 

IRISH LESSON #1: PUB CRAWLIN’

 
As I began my instruction, Roscoe didn’t seem terribly interested,
but Weezy was hanging on my every word.

Roscoe was unable to finish his Guinness, but sure slammed down those
 shots of Irish Whiskey. (Just kidding – he was a tired little guy after a very 
full day of playing with Cousin Weezy.)

 
Weezy quickly grasped all the finer points of Pub Crawlin’ - 
especially “Don’t be wasteful. Drink every last drop.”

 
Weezy can’t believe she drank the whole thing.
She didn’t – her mama did.

I must say – my grandchildren caused quite a stir. People kept stopping by the table to comment on how gorgeous they are. Roscoe with his blond curls and huge blue eyes, and Weezy with her olive skin and black hair are a striking contrast. I just sat there smugly, nodding my head in agreement.

NEXT IRISH LESSON: SHAMROCK PICKING 

Mahatma Roscoe

Gather round, my friends. I shall help you to seek the truth and the light.
Listen carefully and I will provide you with the benefits of my wisdom.

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. 42.7 % of all statistics are made up on the spot.

3. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

4. Remember – half the people you know are below average.

5. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

6. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

7. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse
gets the cheese in the trap.

8. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.

9. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a poor memory.

10. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

11. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

12. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

13. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

14. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

15. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

16. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

17. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

18. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering,
“What the heck happened?”

19. Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.

20. Most of the world’s best grandmas are named Shanlee. 
 

Roscoe wishes to say thanks to his mentor – Larry, the cable guy.